02 / Marriage celebrations yesterday and today
At certain times of the year, particularly spring and summer, one becomes aware that weddings are in the air. Suddenly information is available for interested parties re styles of wedding dresses for the bride and her retinue, wedding venues are mentioned – anything from traditional religious places of worship, to facilities on wine estates, hotels very close to the sea and nearby beaches, mountain lodges, caterers plus the names of musicians and photographers. Added to this seeming frenzy are the stores advertising the opening of wedding gift lists.
However, when one takes a look back in time things were a little different. To begin with suitable marriage partners were rather scarce on the ground as the settler population during the early years of the Cape consisted of more men than women. Each ship that arrived in Table Bay was more often than not carefully scanned by some members of the male population for any possible unattached female of marriageable age. But woe betides the man who offered marriage and then retracted the offer. He could find himself sitting in a jail cell.
Until 1665 marriages took place in the presence of members of the Council of Policy but only after banns had been published. Even when a clergyman had arrived at the Cape marriages could still only take place with the permission of the Council of Policy. A matrimonial court came into being in 1676 – College van Commissarissen van Huwelyks Zaken – and consisted of two officials and two burgers. Banns could be published if the court found no reason for the marriage not to take place. In 1711 the court had a name change and was now College van Commissarissen van Kleine en Huwelyks Zaken. From various sources it appears that if the bride’s family were financially well off the marriage celebration was an excuse for much noise and merriment. Also as some of the guests would have traveled a fair distance to attend the occasion, the event took place over more than a day. Dancing seems to have been popular with music being provided by either the household or visiting slaves. By the way in early days it was not the custom to give wedding gifts.
From 1804-5 during the period of the Batavian Republic rule, civil marriage was allowed but this was stopped when the second British Occupation began. Still most things do not stay the same and by 1818 a new law allowed couples to be married by special license. A marriage register was started in 1836 and by 1860 magistrates were made marriage officers. Divorce was not unknown and granted for adultery, desertion, or imprisonment. Bigamy was viewed very seriously and with great disapproval. Punishment was severe.
At one time in our history marriages had to take place on Tuesdays and until the end of the nineteenth century the ceremonies had to be performed by a civil officer and then followed by religious rites. Only in later years were individuals of recognized religions confirmed as marriage officers
An Ante Nuptial Contracts Law came into being under Amendment Act 21 of 1875 and dealt with contracts and marriage settlements.
In South Africa wedding traditions may vary between people of different countries, cultures and languages but what remains are the rituals that are carried out by the families of both the bride and the groom. As an example take a Xhosa traditional marriage. The groom’s family will arrive at the prospective bride’s family home and will – voluntarily that is - take her to their home where she will spend the night. This indicates that she has been chosen but that she is free to leave if she so wishes. After this comes the negotiations between the families of the bride and the groom on the conditions of the marriage and the”lobola”, a marriage contract. It is often thought that lobola is the price paid for the bride to be but it also declares the future link between the two families and the value placed on the union. The lobola amount could reflect the wealth and social status of the family involved. The education level of the bride may also be a determining factor in the figure paid. Today there is a trend where both a traditional as well as a westernized marriage agreement takes place.
